How would you answer if I asked you to reflect on the most important areas of your life?
Would it be your relationships? Your family and your community? Or your professional work as a physician?
For many readers, spending time outside in the mountains or rivers is crucial to their well-being.
As we all journey through this world, it is easy to forget what’s most important. Why is that?
We live in a society constantly telling us we are not enough. Where we are now needs to be improved. Why would they do that? The simple answer is so they can sell us the solution to our (made-up) problem. By never fully becoming, we are constantly striving for more.
Chasing more is how we suppress or ignore the discomfort we feel. When we miss dinner or bedtime with our kids, we tell ourselves we are working for more money for our family.
As I write this, I’ve missed three bedtimes this week. My son has been asking where I am all day, which signals to me that I need to change my relationship with work.
Or when that voice comes up in your head, having that second or third cocktail is a great way to shut its constant chatter.
I recently interviewed a surgical colleague on a podcast I co-hosted (click here to listen). He still works clinically, but his primary role is in the medical device industry. We talked about how his work impacted his family and relationships.
What Matt told me was vulnerable and deeply impactful. He recognized that his family, especially his wife, had been picking up the slack for years (decades, really). Every family event revolved around his “doctor’s schedule.” He’d ignored this discomfort for decades.
It’s easy to forget what’s most important because—almost without fail—the most meaningful areas in our lives are not the loudest or the most urgent.
That email from the hospital administrator is loud and urgent. Those text messages from colleagues are loud and urgent. All the notifications on your phone are loud and urgent.
But how often are these things important? They might feel necessary. And I will grant that sometimes they are important. If you are honest, though, you know the majority of the time, they are less important than we think.
I love learning from all my readers, so I would like your insight. How do you stay focused on what’s most important to you? How do you adjust when you get off course? How do you recognize when you are off your path?
A few things have worked for me. One of the most impactful has been reducing my alcohol intake. I enjoy making cocktails and really enjoy collecting bourbon. But I recognized that I was much less present with my wife and son when I had a beer or a cocktail, so I’ve cut out drinking. And I love how much more engaged I feel.
Daily exercise, meditation, and journaling are the other practices that keep me on point. I miss days here and there, and there are some days when I don’t hit all three targets. But my best days, my most consistent days, are when I have time for my body, mind, and soul. I notice when I get off track and miss these activities for more than two days in a row.
The most important lesson is to treat ourselves and others with kindness and compassion. None of us are perfect; none of us are robots. We all make mistakes and choices that are not in our best interest.
Perhaps the most valuable lesson is to keep showing up, especially when you don’t feel like it. Maybe go on a walk instead of a two-hour mountain bike ride. Read for ten minutes instead of thirty.
Consistency is underrated. Continuing to compound in the most meaningful areas of your life works wonders. Keep up the excellent work.
